Tales of Thieves
by ZhurrickTea
Summary: This is a series of one-shots featuring some of my favourite characters of Skyrim. Thieves. They aren't necessarily linked to one another, but all of my stories happen in a same universe. Expect many different styles: smut, fluff, angst, romance, humour.
1. Love in Fall

The day had been slow and lazy and Anja let herself fall into the beautiful leaves the trees had been shedding. Everything was in shades of red and orange and yellow in the Rift and it looked gorgeous as ever. Brynjolf sat next to her and whistled.

- You _were _right, lass. Beautiful sight out here. Shame we thieves stay inside so much.

- It's up to you to come out more often.

He sighed and turned his gaze to the nature around them again. A deer was passing through the trees on the other side of the lake. The water was whispering its sweet music. Anja took his hand in hers and played with leaves with the other. They were still wet from the rain earlier that day and a bit cold against her warm hand but at the same time felt good under her body, like the only mattress she was meant to have under her. Outside was really where her heart belonged.

- You should go on a trip with the children, he said suddenly. Hunting and camping, they'd like that.

- I really should. Before winter comes.

- I'll take care of business while you're gone.

- I know you will.

She smiled at him, rubbing his hand palm softly. He turned to her, reciprocating her smile, and leaned to give her a quick kiss before watching the waters again. She grabbed a handful of leaves and began to throw them back to the ground one by one, as if dismissing them. Every now and then, she glanced at him. Finally, she found the right one and dropped all the others. Putting it next to Brynjolf's head, she chuckled.

- Found the one that matches your hair just right.

- Hope you're not planning on having me do anything about it, lass, cause you'll be disappointed.

She giggled and tried to put it on his head like a crown but he grabbed her hands with a grin on his face and climbed on top of her. Instead of trying to push him off, she made him roll and turned them around.

- You know I like to be on top.

- That you do.

They shared a knowing look and she was about to lean down when they heard the raspy voice of Khajiit caravan travellers a few yards from them, talking to wanderers. She stopped, her face hovering over his, merely inches away from his mouth, and licked her lower lip.

- That never stopped us before, did it?

Her voice was far too seducing for his own good and he hastily closed the distance between them. She whimpered against his mouth and ground her hips against his. They both knew where this was going to go, right there, next to the caravans, and could not have cared less. The moment was too perfect to let them be bothered by silly details such as being in an open space. Night was gathering anyway, and soon they would be part of the shadows.

- Pants, she whispered, her lips so close to his he could _feel_ her words, open, now.

He ran his hands against her sides, taking her curves in as he had a million times before, but stopped before reaching her waist buckles, settling on her butt instead.

- You know, lass, I might just be tired of seeing you on top all the time.

His hands gave a squeeze and she threw him a half-amused, half-wanton glare, which he answered by a charming smile.

- Can't stand the sight of a strong Nord woman?

- Oh you know that I more than stand the sight.

- Come and get me then.

With a cat-like motion, she slipped away from his hold and trotted away much too lazily. Best not make him believe she threw him a real challenge. It would only delay _the_ moment and frustrate the both of them. She had barely reached the nearest trees, right next to Lake Honrich, when Brynjolf pounced on her, tackling her to the ground in the most delicate manner possible in the circumstances.

- Caught like a common thief, he whispered in ear.

Damn him and damn his sexy voice. She would go to Oblivion and back again any time just to hear him once more. His stubble on her jaw was the sweetest of itches and he knew it, he had to know it, the way he kissed his way from her ear to her neck.

The lass was wriggling under Brynjolf and he enjoyed every second of it. A real treat, that's what she was, and he intended to make the best of their short time. As if reading his mind, the lass pulled on his belt, unbuckling it before he thought to react or help her. He lifted his head from her neck and smirked at her enthusiasm.

- Oh, don't you play Mr. I-want-to-take-it-slow, she replied and took him in her hand. You know we don't have time for this right now.

He let out a soft sigh of pleasure as she stroked him to hardness.

- Yeah. Astrid waiting for you there.

- Astrid can wait, it's Maven I was thinking about.

- Damn that woman. She never had any notion of patience. Reminds me of someone.

She kissed him silent to avoid his teasing smirk but soon proved him right by pulling his hand to lead it against her crotch in a blunt attempt to make him go faster. As much as he loved those instances of her being eager and receiving, he did not have time to make her beg him today like she so often made him, and obeyed the silent demand.

Brynjolf's nimble fingers unbuckled her pants, pulling them to her knees. Fine, they would not need much more skin bare. The ground was cold and damp against her but it made no matter for she would die if they stopped now. Soon she pulled his hips toward hers and, although she winced a little when he entered her with no preparation, she sighed in contentment and began rocking against him immediately.

- Quite the sabrecat today, lass.

- Mmh, faster, Bryn.

He circled her head with his forearms like he always did when he was on top and she was overwhelmed by the feel of him on top of her and inside her. As much as being on top gave her control, being on the bottom made her feel safe, loved and special. She felt eighteen again, playing the seduction game with him and discovering that pleasure for the first time in his arms. She looked up and met his gaze. They exchanged sweet smiles and he put his forehead against hers, not quite kissing her.

- I love you, they both said at the same time.

Chuckling, she felt her cheeks warm up and looked away. Everything about the moment was good and familiar, yet put together, completely new. She'd laid on these grounds so many times before, and made love with Brynjolf even more, but the two of them combined felt like a taste of Sovngarde. She closed her eyes, wrapped her arms around Brynjolf and focused on their pleasure, on thrusting her hips in a rhythm with his. The sounds all around them made everything so much better, and the scenery, though she was not looking, was the perfect place. She did not know how they had managed to only choose to look up at the damp stone ceiling when they could have had the evening sun, the trees and the blue skies of Skyrim as witnesses to their love.

They would do it here again, he swore to himself. They simply had to. The beauty of the Rift was one he rarely got the time to behold and never felt he needed, accustomed as he was to the beauty of a full purse or of an expensive piece of jewellery. Had he known how awesome it would be, it would have been him dragging her here and not vice versa. Everything felt overwhelmingly good. He was completely relaxed, able to hear every sound, to feel the soft wind against his face, to let go of all his tension. He looked at the lass, who still could not meet his eyes, and found himself grow closer to release when she wrapped her arms tight around him, as if she never wanted to let him go. They worked great together, always had. The problems they had been through could have broken them up, but had brought them closer together than ever before. He felt one with her, even more when they were joined physically. Their love had never been stronger.

- Brynjolf, she sighed lovingly and that was the point of no return.

He kissed her like never before and thrust a few last erratic times, slowing to stillness, and she purred as she pulled him flush against her breasts, cradling him as she would often do. It took him a while to get his heart to a normal pulse, and longer still to realize what he had just done and ruin the quiet vibe he loved to maintain after lovemaking, if only for a few minutes.

Brynjolf scrambled to a sitting position and backed away from her, looking almost terrified. She sat up slowly but his gaze only grew more anxious.

- What's the matter?

- I... I can't believe I forgot! Damn it, damn it, damn it, I haven't forgotten before, not once!

- Forget what?

- To pull out! Argh, I'm such an idiot!

He took his head into his hands, and realization dawned onto her. She was the one feeling stupid, only now realizing that Brynjolf had taken all the responsibility of being safe for them both for so many years, that she had never done anything to prevent what might happen. She moved to just in front of him and stroked his thighs softly. He looked at her between his fingers, which made her chuckle. He did not seem ready to try to smile just yet but at least uncovered his face.

- It's okay, she said.

He said nothing, still frowning, but put his hands on hers.

- What's the worst that could happen?

- Lass… you do know what happens when a man… you know… inside a woman?

She blushed and swatted his hands away, crossing her arms and pouting. She knew on his face she must have looked ridiculous, with her pants still halfway off, and quickly pulled them back on, ignoring his seed dripping out of her, though Brynjolf certainly hadn't forgotten about it, by the look of him.

- Of course I know that.

- Then how can you not freak out?!

_He_ certainly looked freaked out. She gathered her thoughts together, thinking of anything she might know that would make him feel better.

- I told you, it's okay. There are solutions.

He shot her an expectant look. She smiled and got closer. Her hands ran up his thighs and for a moment, he thought she was going for a second round, but she simply tucked him back into his pants and buckled his belt. She lifted herself just enough to sit on his lap and snaked her arms around him. It made him feel slightly better to see her so confident, though the worry was still very present.

- First of all, you calm yourself a little bit, mister.

His frown deepened and she chuckled at him and pecked him on the lips. He put his hands on her hips and waited for her to speak.

- Then, I ought to thank you for being so careful all the time. I never really thought about protection with you and it could have turned out much worse if you weren't such a good man.

He tightened his grip on her ever so slightly and tried to smile.

- There isn't a way to know if anything might happen even after today's mistake, Bryn.

- Ma used to say even just one time can lead to a… a _baby_.

The word was out. It made him feel both relieved and terrified to have uttered it.

- And my mom had sex with dozens of men all fifteen years I was with her and she only ever had me.

Her voice was dry and would not allow any reply.

- And even if it does lead to _that_, she said in a slightly quivering voice, there are solutions.

- Only solution I know is raising it.

- Babette's an alchemist. There are ways to make sure there isn't a baby in the first place.

- How would you know about that?

- Astrid and I had that talk.

He snorted and Anja realized the oddness of what she'd said, two women like them having the talk about birth control. As if they'd need that.

- Well not like that! she said defensively. We just talked about her and Arnbjorn.

- Oh.

- She used to ask Babette that specific potion all the time. Dirty beast wasn't one to pull out like you.

- So that's one option… he said and looked very hesitant.

- Well I'm just listing our choices there. There's also adoption.

- That's out of the question, Anja, the orphanage literally is in Riften. We'd see the child all the time. Might as well keep it if we're going to live in the same city.

He instantly looked guilty to dictate her what to do and quickly spoke.

- I mean, if you don't want to, there's always that potion. You choose. But I don't want you to have a baby then give it up for us to see grow every day in the city. If you don't want to… end it, it's your call, but you don't want to raise it either, I will, but not Constance.

She pondered on the possibility. When she was younger, she had sworn to herself that she would never bring a child into the world, but that was when she was still living with her mother and in misery. Later, she'd met Lucia and decided that giving a little being love and protection wasn't so bad after all. But there was a huge difference between taking in the ten-year-old and giving birth to a little baby. She did not want to think about that possibility just now and shook her head. Brynjolf tried to meet her eyes, but she looked away and felt him sigh more than she heard it.

- I don't know either, lass. I'm just trying to process what happened.

- And how did it happen anyway? I mean, I'm not blaming you or anything, but it's the first time it's happened since we ever started doing it.

He looked at her sheepishly and sighed again.

- I got overwhelmed. It's so beautiful out here, you were beautiful and I was thinking about how much I love you and I just… It happened.

He had such a guilty expression that she couldn't help stroking his cheeks and giving him a soft kiss. He deepened it and hugged her closer to him and she lost herself in his embrace.

Holding Anja in his arms, Brynjolf could only picture a possible future life for them as a family, holding a small babe in their arms, coming home to a mischievous child after a long day's work, laughing off the guards when they would bring back home their thieving offspring after a failed burglary. The thoughts were unbidden and yet delightful, and he felt terribly guilty for feeling that way when Anja was still more than ambivalent. He felt guilty for feeling that way when five minutes ago he was freaking out but now entertained the idea more than he should, for feeling that way when the possibility of having a flesh and blood family of their own had never been on the table even once. Stroking her back, he silently grieved the future that they might never have.

- How do you think Lucia and Aventus would take it? she asked after several long silent minutes.

- You mean if we… if we did have a baby?

She pushed on his torso softly to be able to look into his eyes and her face betrayed her anxiousness. She nodded, never looking away. He had to thread through this very carefully. The lass might be considering the options. He did not want to pressure her into anything she would be uncomfortable with, but still, he had his own opinion and would not make her turn away from it if he had an opportunity to try to convince her.

- I think Lucia would be all over a baby. She'd take it everywhere with her and want to hold it and show it everything she knows. Just like she did Aventus when he became part of the family. I don't think she'd have a problem with it at all.

- What about Aventus?

He grunted, unsure of what to say.

- That kid really is a mystery to me sometimes. I mean, Lucia, I get her, she takes after you in a way.

- Aventus is really like Astrid in his own way. And she…

She stopped talking abruptly and her eyes widened. Taking her head in her hands, she breathed heavily, but as he gently rubbed her hips and pressed a kiss on the top of her head, she seemed to relax.

- Astrid won't be angry, lass.

- I don't know, she moaned. She never wanted a child, she prevented it her whole life with Arnbjorn.

- She won't be angry because she loves you. As _I_ love you. She's part of the family.

- I'm afraid she'd leave…

- Lass, she won't leave. She's been living here for months, she loves you, she loves Riften. She also really likes Aventus, by the way. So who knows what she'd think if we ended up with a baby.

- Yeah. If we did…

- What do _you_ want, lass?

Snuggling flush against Brynjolf again, she closed her eyes, taking in the calm he always instilled in her. He began to stroke her hair and she relaxed enough to think with a clear mind. She did not know if Brynjolf really didn't mind having a child with her or if he just didn't want her to make a decision she might not want. She wasn't sure what she wanted of life, but she knew who she wanted to spend her life with.

- I want you. I want Astrid.

- You have us. You'll always have us.

- Then I can take anything life throws at us.

- Anything?

She pictured herself with a baby in her arms, carrying it on her back to go to work, soothing it at night, teaching it everything she knew as she'd taught Lucia and Aventus, seeing it grow and supporting it like her own mother never did. Somehow, the idea appealed to her, and even more when she tought of Brynjolf as a father. Sure, he had been present for Aventus and Lucia their whole time in Riften, but never had they been _his_ children, they were hers. She was sure he would be adorable. She wondered what Astrid would think of the situation if it were to happen. Of course, she would want Astrid to be part of the potential baby's life as much as her, as much as Brynjolf, but would her lover actually want it?

- Anything, she said.

Astrid and she had a strong relationship. She felt confident enough that they would be able to take it.

Night had already fallen by the time they went back to Honeyside and only then did Brynjolf remember that he had missed his appointment with Maven Blackbriar. She would be completely furious. He wrote a mental note to make it up on the next day, although it would probably be extremely hard. Maven was not a woman to forgive easily.

Anja was sheepishly red when she stepped through the back door of her own house. Astrid was sitting cozily in a chair, reading a book about the history of the Thieves Guild. She looked up at them and gave Anja a soft smile that Brynjolf suspected his lass was the only recipient of.

- You two were out for such a long time, she said, but her tone was not as reproachful as her words. What happened?

Brynjolf looked at Anja expectantly. She braced herself, inhaled deeply and walked to the bed, sitting on it next to Astrid's chair.

- Should I see myself out? he asked.

- Just for a minute, please? You can go check on the children.

- Is something wrong? Astrid asked and Anja took her hand.

- There's something we need to talk about.

Brynjolf went down the cracking wooden stairs to the children's room. They weren't sleeping yet, and neither was Iona, it seemed. She was sitting on Lucia's bed, reading them a story about the Companions and they barely looked at him when he sat next to them on the floor, acknowledging him but not wanting to get their attention away from the wonderful adventures of the warriors of Jorrvaskr. Lucia leaned against him, taking him by the elbow, and Aventus sat on his lap, so naturally that their eyes hadn't even turned from Iona's book. Brynjolf had grown very close to these children and would do anything for them. Thinking about Anja, about the life they might have created, he smiled and hugged the kids to him. Nothing could go wrong.


	2. Ragged Flagon Chatting

This chapter is a series of conversations between Vex and Anja. You may know more about Anja in my other fic "A Chance Arrangement". I've been trying a new style of writing with this fic here, tell me if you think it'd be worth doing again :)

"Stop staring at me like that. Ask what you have to ask or leave me alone."

"I… er… Sorry."

"I'll stop listening next time you mumble. We don't lose time in here, get used to it."

"I was just wondering if you could help me with lockpicking."

"…"

"I've heard you can teach people and…"

"Look. I'm the best infiltrator in this rat hole."

"I know, that's why I'm asking you."

"You'd better not doubt that."

"I don't."

"I don't supply the lockpicks so if you suck, you'll buy them yourself."

"I bought some from Balimund."

"Ha, who would have thought an honest smith as him would sell thieving accessories."

"Tonilia was out of stock."

"Well, what are you waiting for? There's no lock to pick in here. We're going to the training room."

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Next time you call me ma'am, you'll feel my dagger before you even see it."

"Sorry."

"What's with you and politeness? I thought Brynjolf picked you on the streets."

"…"

"Whatever. Come with me, I don't have all day."

* * *

><p>"You know, I never thought mead tasted like that."<p>

"Mmh."

"It's so sweet. I never knew it was so sweet."

"Mmh."

"Why don't they let children drink it?"

"Mmh."

"I mean, I'm sure they would love it."

"Love what?"

"… You have no idea what I was talking about, do you?"

"I am working, if you haven't noticed."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Trying to work is more like it, with your blabbering."

"I can treat you to a mead as an apology."

"No thanks. I still have a lot of work."

"I'll buy myself another one, then."

"Don't let it go to your head."

"The mead?"

"Mead, money, pride. You'll look like a fool."

"…Okay…"

"Now go drink with Brynjolf and let me work."

* * *

><p>"You busy?"<p>

"Anja, I'm _always_ busy."

"True."

"What do you want?"

"I heard things…"

"Out with it, I don't have all day."

"AreyouhavingathingwithDelvin?"

"What was that?"

"You and Delvin… Is there something between you?"

"Who told you that?"

"That's not the issue."

"He did, didn't he?"

"…"

"Whatever. A man can dream. No, there's nothing. Don't ask anything like that again."

"You don't have to lie to look professional, you know, I won't tell."

"Look, what I feel for him is mild disgust at best."

"Oh."

"Not everyone can have a thing with other thieves like you do. Business is business."

"I know that!"

"Mmh."

"Don't look at me like that, it makes me feel like you want to gag me and chain me to a boulder at the bottom of the lake."

"Sometimes I do."

"…"

"…"

"Please don't do that."

* * *

><p>"You know what's good about being here?"<p>

"You get to torture someone with your endless questions?"

"I get to do things Ma wouldn't allow me to."

"…"

"Wow, Vex, who would have thought your face could stop frowning? Don't pity me too much, though."

"I don't pity you. Or anyone. I don't care."

"Good. There's the Vex we all know and kind of tolerate."

"Don't get too cocky, kid. You're still new here."

"Sorry."

"Things like that might get you killed if you talk to the wrong people."

"Brynjolf is still teaching me about that."

"The master of honeyed words…"

"Aye… Anyway, I get to drink mead every night if I want to, now."

"You shouldn't."

"I don't, but I could."

"Mead will make you dumb and pathetic if you drink too much of it."

"What are you talking about? You drink just as much mead as the rest of us."

"I _never_ drink mead."

"What? But your tankard is always full."

"Never full of mead."

"Why?"

"I don't like mead."

"You don't like mead? How is that possible?"

"_My_ mother would never let us drink mead. She would never have allowed us to drink something as barbaric as a _Nord_ drink."

"And you won't disobey her?"

"I've been living in this land for more than a decade, now. I think I've disobeyed her enough."

"Is that why you don't drink mead?"

"No."

"Then why?"

"I told you. I don't like mead."

"You're weird."

* * *

><p>"What's up with Sapphire?"<p>

"What do you mean?"

"Didn't you see that? She just began sobbing and left."

"What?! What happened?"

"Don't give me that look, it wasn't me."

"Sorry, wild guess."

"…Anyway. She was just sitting there, eating supper, and just burst into tears."

"Divines… Did someone say anything?"

"She left, no one had time to say a thing."

"I mean before she left."

"Vekel and I were talking business."

"It can't be that."

"Glover and Delvin were talking about a bandit raid in Darkwater Crossing and…"

"Bandit raid?"

"Yes?"

"Damn it, damn it, damn it. Where did she go?"

"That way. Brynjolf went after her."

"Okay."

"Aren't you going to explain anything?"

"Sapphire might need me. We'll talk later."

* * *

><p>"Vex."<p>

"Anja."

"Can you please look up from your papers at least a second?"

"I don't see why I should."

"I need to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"First of all, please don't repeat this to anyone."

"Anja, you don't know me at all if you think there's anything I wouldn't tell for the right amount of coin."

"This isn't the kind of thing someone would pay to know."

"Then I don't think I will care much."

"I don't want you to care, I want you to help me."

"Tell me, and fast, I don't have much time."

"Could you give me and Brynjolf jobs in the same city? Somewhere far away, like Dawnstar or something."

"…Well, well. Why would you want that?"

"…"

"I guess being Brynjolf's protégée comes with benefits…"

"Instead of taunting me, can you answer the question?"

"At least you chose one of the decent ones down here."

"He's a lot more than decent."

"Heh, I'll trust you on that."

"Please don't tell anyone."

"Do I look the gossiping type?"

"Good point."

"I have two jobs in Winterhold. I was going to give them to Vipir but I guess I can change my mind."

"Hoping he'd freeze his balls off, huh?"

"If only… Though I assume you want Brynjolf's balls in perfect state…"

"Divines, Vex, I knew I should have asked Delvin… Don't laugh at me like that!"

"Fine, fine. Very serious now. Brynjolf will get his job with you…"

"Thank you!"

"… Hand or blow, though, you tell me."

"… Bye Vex."

* * *

><p>"Vex?"<p>

"Mmh?"

"When did you come to Riften?"

"What year are we?"

"192."

"Then fifteen years ago."

"Wow. You've been here almost as long as I have."

"You're still a kid."

"Or you're old, depending on how you look at it."

"I'm thirty-six, Anja."

"See, what I told you."

"And I have a lot more experience than you in making people regret pissing me off."

"…"

"Yeah, you should be scared."

"How did your mother react when you joined the Guild?"

"She has yet to learn about that."

"What?"

"I never told her. She'd just spill all her bullshit about a decent proper life, getting a husband and spawn children."

"Oh. She's that kind of mother."

"She is."

"Ma never had any plan for my life."

"Ugh, you're lucky."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I'm sorry."

"It's all right. She and I never got along, not really."

"You didn't? I thought she wanted to be a thief."

"Pretty much. She forbade me to steal, though."

"She was that kind of mother."

"She was."

* * *

><p>"Have you ever been in love?"<p>

"What? Why are you asking?"

"It's just… Ugh, I don't know."

"Look at me and tell me if you see a romantic soul."

"True."

"So, why are you asking?"

"How do you know if you're in love?"

"I wouldn't know."

"I think I might love Brynjolf."

"Damn, it's time you realized that."

"…Am I that obvious?"

"You get that disgusting expression when you look at him."

"Do you think many others know?"

"He certainly doesn't. He's a complete idiot."

"Don't talk about him that way!"

"He is, and you're no better when you're around him."

"You're just being mean."

"I never said it was wrong, I said it's disgusting."

"Yeah, that's completely different. So kind of you."

"Any time."

* * *

><p>"Your handwriting is horrible!"<p>

"Thanks, Vex, good morning to you too."

"You can't give me reports like that. I've been trying to decipher it for an hour now."

"Sorry…"

"I knew asking for help with reports was a bad idea. There's no way I can give that to Mercer."

"What's with you? You never get angry like that."

"What are you talking about? I always get angry."

"Not with me!"

"That's because you normally do jobs right and clean!"

"What's up with you?"

"What's up with me? What's up with that handwriting? Who taught you how to write?"

"Maramal, mostly."

"The priest?"

"Yeah."

"He did a terrible job."

"Well sorry, not all of us had the best teachers supplied by our rich noble parents directly at home, Vex. Some of us had to get by on our own."

"It's never too late. Grab a quill and get your butt here."

"But I…"

"No excuse! You're not getting out of here until you're copied that report in your best handwriting."

"Ugh, you're the worst teacher ever."

"Shut up and get to work, pupil."

* * *

><p>"Have you ever even been with someone?"<p>

"Look at you, barely official with Brynjolf and already the love expert."

"I'm just asking!"

"The answer is yes. Obviously I've been with someone before."

"But never someone you loved?"

"You don't need to love someone to fuck 'em."

"…"

"Don't ask things when you don't want to hear the answer."

"That would have been wiser indeed…"

"You said it."

"Who was it? Wait, no, don't tell me, I'm going to guess."

"Go ahead."

"Is it someone in the Guild?"

"I've been with more than one man before, you know."

"Well, were you with someone from the Guild?"

"Yeah."

"Mmh, was it Mercer?"

"What? No!"

"Hey, I'm just guessing here! … So, is it Delvin?"

"You're still hung up on that? There is _nothing_ between Delvin and me!"

"… Is it Brynjolf?"

"Haha, I should say yes just to make you keep the long face. But no. He's all yours."

"Is it Vekel?"

"No, and I think Tonilia has a thing for him."

"Yeah, she does."

"Shame. He'd be my type."

"What's your type?"

"Big and burly. Why do you think I came to Skyrim?"

"Mmh, then is it Dirge?"

"Mmh."

"It _is_ Dirge!"

"We were never _together_-together. He's just been… there when I needed him, if you know what I mean."

"I wish I didn't."

"Pfft, you and Brynjolf are no better."

* * *

><p>"Happy birthday Vex!"<p>

"What?! How did you know it was my birthday?"

"Delvin told me…"

"Ugh, what an ass. He _knows_ I don't like people to know about that. He still isn't over that letter."

"Why? What letter?"

"…The letter doesn't matter."

"Okay…"

"Look, I hate my birthday."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because my mother always graces me with her presence around my birthday."

"Oh, does that mean I'll get to meet her?"

"Absolutely not. You're a horrible liar, you'll break my cover as soon as she sees you, and I've kept it for sixteen years now."

"It _is_ true that I'm not that good at lying…"

"She's coming tomorrow evening. She's with my brother right now, the poor man. Not that I wish him any different."

"Do you just hate everyone in your family?"

"…"

"You do, don't you?"

"Anyway, mother coming into town, you staying here. Understood?"

"Sure. Is your brother your twin or something?"

"Yeah. He's an ass."

"Runs in the family?"

"_Ha. Ha._ Now move along, I have to go punch Delvin."

* * *

><p>"You know, you might have chosen a better place to hide if you didn't want anyone to stumble upon you."<p>

"_I know_, I've just realized that, somehow."

"It's not my fault Brynjolf sounds like a skeever!"

"He does not!"

"What did you want me to do, risk my safety?"

"Your safety wasn't threatened!"

"I didn't know that. It could have been anything."

"Well, there aren't many places to hide in this place, sorry for thinking an empty storage room would be _empty_!"

"You just have to study the right time."

"…What are you talking about?"

"I mean there's just about always a time where the place you want is empty with no one around to hear Brynjolf's skeever noises."

"…"

"Oh yes, you know what I mean."

"Where and with whom?"

"That's none of your business."

"You've just caught me making love with Bryn between a mead barrel and a heap of cabbages, I think you're beyond caring about privacy."

"Ha, just listen to you, _making love_. Just call it as it is, fucking."

"Sorry for having feelings for him!"

"Don't lecture me on romance, I fucked Vipir on the bar counter while Dirge watched!"

"Divines, Vex, I did not need to know that!"

"You asked!"

* * *

><p>"HELLO ANJA!"<p>

"Ugh…"

"HOW ARE YOU?"

"Shut up…"

"Haha, sorry. I told you ale after wine was a bad idea."

"And you were right…"

"You seen Brynjolf yet?"

"He's still sleeping."

"You'd better get ready to defend yourself."

"What? Why?"

"…You don't remember yesterday?"

"No…"

"You kind of drank half of the tavern's alcohol and threw up everything on him. Then sobbed in his arms for half an hour before trying to make out with him in front of everyone."

"…"

"But hey, don't worry, he's drunk almost just as much!"

"You think he might not remember?"

"He probably will remember Delvin throwing him into the basin, though."

"That sounds dangerous…"

"Oh don't worry, Brynjolf can swim."

"Yeah…"

"It's Delvin I would be worried about if I actually cared about him. He was just as thrashed as your little lover."

"It's the last time I ever celebrate my birthday."

"It's not everyday you're eighteen, my dear."


End file.
